Thornton Watlass v Richmond Mavs

Match Report/Information

Sportsmanship: 9
Man of the Match: A Cooper

After rain denied our 1st game of the season away at Scruton the shitty weather did one this week and gifted us a glorious evening for fun and laughter.
Prior to 'Bat off' VICE Woodie brought us all a little treat, full party food spread from his work (some old bellends last day of work doo...Which he didn't attend and by the sounds of it he was a twat and only 10 people did! Obviously Woodie did as he lives on his own and he had a feeling Gaz Nic might have been hungry after his tea (which he had at 5.29pm) and to all the teams surprise Gaz was hungry enough to complete most of the sausages, sandwiches, flans, pork pies and plenty of kidcock that he gobbled down. While everyone was laughing at Gaz Nics Cricket jumper Skipper Hines had a casual walk out to the wicket to have a proper 'Cricket talk' with their captain (which I pretty much didn't have a clue what he was on about and I just wanted to toss off with him and do one) once he'd stopped talking jibber jabber he tossed one up for me... Which I WON and chose to bat 1st!
We brought a gifted yet unexpirenced team with Micky Lay and Gaz McAnus the only recognised 'Cricketers' in the team, so there was a lot of pressure on the 'Shitty boys' to cement a place on the team.
As a Mavs ritual Gary Nicholson was chosen to open the batting as he generally does wank and it's funny to hear him complain once returns, he faced a few ball before getting bowled out for a shite 0! Next in was last min addition Adam Emson who hasn't played for this stunning side for a couple of years and was looking gooood with new trend setting trousers that gave his ankles plenty of breathing space but were not quite 3/4s, he never really felt comfortable at the crease and got bowled out for a duck too. Sloppy bit a few but ended with 4 then it was time for part time Vice/Caterer Dunwoodie (who was unfortunate to lose the 'Names out the hat' to see who bats with the might 'SPORTACUS') walked out rather worryingly with the prestigious bat under his arm thinking that if he gets any contact of the ball he'd be a happy man, anyway.... He only got a 4 off the 1st ball which bounced a couple of yards away from the boundary! AS IF! Everyone was amazed and were laughing they're little titties off it also gave Sportacus it's 1st ever boundary! Woodie then hit some lovely shots that came close to the rope and was enjoying his time with Sportacus until he decided to launch the bat about 15yrs away trying to swing for the ball. Funniest moment of the season.... So far! VICE/caterer reached an impressive 14 before being bowled out. Micky Lay in the meantime batted well once again... Yawwwn... Got caught on 48. Gaz McANUS notched a few including a mahooosive 6 into some knobheads back garden (bet he had a little erection over that one and rang his mum n dad when he got home) he made 21 in the end, Kizzie McFizzy rhubarb haribos came in and got a 1 which is still very good... Better than his bro and Spaz Nic! Peck got 1 then got caught and then in came Skip and Tomo to see off the remaining overs with beanz getting a class 7 and tomo 4 off one ball. End of 20 overs 117. Which was pretty darn good for the team we had.
We managed to get 5 of them out with Tomo taking 2-44, Micky 1-23 and Sloppy 1-18 and a SUBLIME run out from Gary Nicholson/Gaz McANUS. Some good bowling, precise positioning and most of all some audacious fielding by Gaz Nic who Before taking a sexual catch did the best as Dunwoodie calls it a 'no gravity moon dive' which he didn't get at all but made us all chuckle. Even with Gaz on form at leg side we still got beat with a few overs remaining bit we did well seeing that we were missing Mozza, Browny, Danny, Sheehan, Welshy and Hunty.
Been writing this for far too long now, can't even be assed to go over it to correct shit and really need to go potty.

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